Survival Emergency

What should be included in an Armageddon emergency preparedness kit?

A friend of mine started a SHTF emergency supply kit thread on Facebook. Each day someone generally adds an item or two that should be kept on hand in case a large scale natural disaster puts us in the survival mode. What about Armageddon? What should I stock up on just in case Satan is released from the abyss and Gog and Magog start whoopin’ up on us?

1. Plenty of toilet paper. Since Scott and Charmin will no longer be producing.
2. Razor blades. Schick is gone too.
3. Batteries. EverReady (no pun intended) bunny will never be hoping along anymore.
4. Water. All utilities will be silent until Jehovah miraculously turns the pumps back on.
5. Hand tools. No power no saws, drills. Most jw janitors will have to brush up on carpentry books so..
6. Bring along this book How to Build Your Way Out of Total Desolation in six easy lessons.
7. 12 pair of eyeglasses since 1 Hour Eyeglasses is gone forever.
8. At least 12 months of prescription drugs, just in case Jehovah did not spare the warehouses of Squibb & Co,

The above list approved by a unanimous vote of all us old codgers in Patterson New Jersey. Please do not write us, we are putting our kits together, time is short brothers!!!

Smith & Wesson Emergency Survival Kit, Model 500 Magnum, .50 Cal. Revolver